


Goalposts at Sundown

by ashes_and_ashes



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, a little bit of jily, jily, sirius x remus, wolfstar, wolfstar fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 10:07:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18602350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashes_and_ashes/pseuds/ashes_and_ashes
Summary: “We don’t have to talk about it,” James says. He looks down, at where the ground would be if it wasn’t covered in shadows. “You don’t have to tell me, Sirius, it’s fine - ““But I want to.” Sirius swallows, hard. His fingers tighten on the edge of the goalpost, the tips going white as he squeezed down. “I want to but…God. I’m terrified.”“Of me?” James asks and Sirius gives a half nod. “Fuck, Pads. Don’t be. Not of me. Never of me.”Sirius gives him a small smile. “I know.” Absentmindedly he reaches for his legs, drawing them up to his chest. He takes a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut. “Remus.”James raises an eyebrow. “What about him?”“We’re…” Sirius trails off. He bites his lip, hard, then turns to face James. “We’re dating.”





	Goalposts at Sundown

James scowls as he points his broom up towards the keeper’s goalposts. “I swear, Black,” he mutters. “Dragging my ass out here for nothing.”

It’s dark outside, a hot summers night, the buzz of insects droning in James’ ear as he hurtles through the air. He’s headed for the Quidditch Goalposts, the tall golden rings arching towards the sky, the castle behind him. It was their secret spot, him and Sirius, because no one else in the school was good enough to maneuver their way up to the tip of the rings, weaving in and out between the spaces and swooping underneath the bars.

James lets himself float to a stop in front of it, ruffling a hand through his hair. “Start the stopwatch, Black!”

With a grin, he shoots forwards.

The first ring is easy, a sharp hairpin turn to the right. He points his broom up, going so fast that he hits his foot on the second ring, the impact almost knocking his boot off. James swears, shoving the boot back on as he drops, spiralling through the air, a barrel roll through the third hoop and then finishing off at the top. “Time!”

“18.63.”

“Half a second off!” James laughs as he drifts down towards the top of the ring, where he can see Sirius sitting. He waits until he’s right above him then jumps, landing in the center. “New record, am I right?”

Sirius shrugs. “I went 18.24 last month.”

“Did not!”

“Did too.”

James flips him off, leaning his broomstick next to Sirius’. He stretches out, legs dangling underneath him, whistling as he kicked his feet. “So. Dragging me up here at 11 o’clock? What’s up with that?”

Sirius gives him a small smile. “Maybe I just wanted your delightful company.”

“Bullshit and you know it.” James spits, watching as the small globule disappears out of sight. “Come on. I was this close to finally getting it off with Lily! At least reward me for my troubles.”

Sirius turns away, taking a deep breath. It was almost as if he were steeling himself, like he was preparing to leap off a cliff, his fists clenched at his sides. “James, I…. I need to tell you something.”

The seriousness in his voice makes James start. Sirius was rarely this solemn, always laughing or cursing or firing off some sarcastic comment. James knots his fingers together, a lump of concern forming in his chest. “Yeah. Anything.”

“I…” Sirius sighs, blowing a strand of hair out of his face. He’s tense, though he tried to hide it, every line in his body sharp as if he was preparing to be electrocuted. “God. This is so fucking hard.”

“We don’t have to talk about it,” James says. He looks down, at where the ground would be if it wasn’t covered in shadows. “You don’t have to tell me, Sirius, it’s fine - “

“But I want to.” Sirius swallows, hard. His fingers tighten on the edge of the goalpost, the tips going white as he squeezed down. “I want to but…God. I’m terrified.”

“Of me?” James asks and Sirius gives a half nod. “Fuck, Pads. Don’t be. Not of me. Never of me.”

Sirius gives him a small smile. “I know.” Absentmindedly he reaches for his legs, drawing them up to his chest. He takes a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut. “Remus.”

James raises an eyebrow. “What about him?”

“We’re…” Sirius trails off. He bites his lip, hard, then turns to face James. “We’re dating.”

It’s as if someone had dropped a weight on James’ chest, knocking the air out from his lungs. He blinks, slowly, mind racing as he tried to piece together what Sirius had said. “You and - “

“Yeah.” The words start to pour out of Sirius’ mouth, as if he had rehearsed them many times before. “I know…I know what you’re thinking. But it’s always been different, being with Marlene and Mary and all those other girls that I was with all those times before. It wasn’t…real. Not like how it is with Remus. And I know that you may not accept me but please understand that I’m still the same person, I’m still the same  _Sirius_  that you knew before - “

“Sirius.” James shakes his head. “Sirius, just shut up.”

Sirius went white, the blood draining from his face. He swallowed, hard. “Okay. I’m sorry. But I can’t live like this anymore, James. I can’t pretend to be something I’m not. And if that pushes you away - “

James rolls his eyes. “Pads, you’re an idiot. Do you think I care?”

“I wasn’t sure.” Sirius’ voice is quiet. “No one is ever sure. About how someone might react, I mean.”

James looks down. “Here. I’ll spell it out for you. I don’t give a damn about who you love, Sirius. I don’t care if you want to shag a boy or a girl or anything in between,  _I don’t care_. Because you’re still you, Sirius. You’re the same guy that I’ve known since I was 11. And if anyone thinks that you’re different just because you like fucking guys, they can go screw themselves.”

There are tears in Sirius’ eyes, spilling over down his cheeks, reflecting the light of the stars in the sky. He sniffs, running his hand through his hair. “I….” He swears. “Shit. Shit, I was so scared to tell you and - “

“It doesn’t change a thing.” James looks him in the eyes as he says this, his hand moving to cover Sirius’. “Not a single damn thing.”

He’s always admired Sirius for being brave, for being so courageous, for refusing to bend. The way he stood, tall and shoulders back, almost like a “fuck you” to the world because  _shit_ , Sirius had gone through a lot. He had been beaten and cursed and scorned, disowned and spat at and had lines carved into his flesh but he didn’t break. He wouldn’t break.

Sirius looked more vulnerable then James had ever seen him before, legs tucked up to his chin, his hair messy and rumpled. He looked young, the darkness hiding all of the scars on his skin and the cuts on his neck, his eyes half closed and his fingers white. James reaches over, pulls Sirius into a hug, noticing how Sirius seemed to relax in his arms. “Hey. It’s okay.”

Sirius just sniffs, burrying his face into James’ side, his tears soaking through James’ shirt. He pats him, long strokes on Sirius’ back, the lines from the scars like cords underneath the skin. “When did you know,” he whispers, holding Sirius’ tighter. “When did you know you loved him?”

Sirius pulls away, slightly. He takes a deep breath, trying to compose himself, wipes his face with his shirt. “Since second year.” He laughs. “I don’t know. It was more of…of a noticing. Small things - the way he smiled, the way he laughed. That feeling in my stomach every time out hands brushed. Then we had that fight in fourth, that huge screaming one, and he asked me if I would give a damn if he died and I said I would and he asked me why and I said….” Sirius shakes his head. “I said I loved him. And he kinda just stood there for a minute. And it was quiet, Prongs, so quiet and my heart was pounding and I was ready to jump off the tower when he said, “Me too.””

“Have you told anyone else yet?”

Sirius shakes his head. “Just you.” He sniffs. “I don’t think….I still have to live with my parents. They’d slice me up if they knew that I….that I….”

“That you liked boys.” James nods. “Sirius, I’m….I’m honoured. Really, I am. You and Remus….” He exhales. “Look. I’ve only ever loved Lily. But you two are perfect together, really. Your face lights up every time he enters the room. And he….Remus seems so much happier with you around.”

Sirus lets out a shaky breath. “Thanks.”

James smiles. “It’s fine. Just don’t shag on my sheets.”

Sirius laughs. “We’ll try not to.” He pauses, then reaches forwards, wrapping James in a hug. “Thank you.”

“Don’t break his heart, Sirius. He won’t survive that.”

Sirius shakes his head. “I won’t.”


End file.
